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comment by humanodon
humanodon  ·  3943 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Lil's Book of Questions: What Made You Know the Relationship Was Over?

With the most recent girl, I discovered that I didn't want to assimilate into her culture and when she told me she would wait for me to change my mind, I thought that she could be doing better things with her time than waiting around for a guy intent on changing his life.

Another one started dropping hints that she wanted to get married by not so subtly going out to look at wedding dresses and when I tried to imagine the rest of my life with her, I couldn't.

Another one wanted our relationship to be based solely on one kind of sex that I think is pretty hot, but it was like eating your favorite food every day and then realizing that it's best as a treat.

Another one didn't see why I'd be upset if she went after my friend, provided she set me up with another (admittedly gorgeous) girl.





b_b  ·  3943 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Another one wanted our relationship to be based solely on one kind of sex that I think is pretty hot, but it was like eating your favorite food every day and then realizing that it's best as a treat.

I'm pretty sure that I get what you're saying (and, based on her comment below, I think _refugee_ does, too!), and I can definitely see your point. Forbidden fruit starts to taste pretty bad when it's force fed to you.

_refugee_  ·  3943 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Ick to it all, although especially ick to the "started dropping hints that she wanted to get married by not so subtly going out to look at wedding dresses."

Like, if you want to get married, why can't you just have a conversation about it.

b_b  ·  3943 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Oh haha. I thought you were ick-ing the line I quoted.

Yeah I guess the line you quoted is way grosser. I once had a girlfriend whom I lived with in my early twenties. I never really wanted to live with her, but circumstance kind of forced me into it for a time. I was thinking about dumping her, then one day I came home and there were a couple bridal magazines on the coffee table. I got the fuck out in short order.

humanodon  ·  3943 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Was her moving in a sudden thing, or that kind of gradual move-in that begins with hair stuff, then makeup, then pajamas, then a stuffed animal, etc. etc.?

I need to get better at dating.

user-inactivated  ·  3943 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's when her stuffed animal replaces your stuffed animal while you're at work...

EDIT: one response adorable, one horrifying.

humanodon  ·  3943 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Actually, my dog made her stuffed animal his "girlfriend". No more stuffed animals after that! . . . though stuffing eventually started to come out of said stuffed animal from a "distressed" area . . .

elizabeth  ·  3943 days ago  ·  link  ·  

NO! that's a horrible thing to do! Stuffed animals get formal introductions. Then they (hopefully) become friends and hang out together.

b_b  ·  3943 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I moved into her place, actually. Here's how it went: we had been dating a couple years, and I was living at my mom's house during a period between roommates. Then, my grandpa got kicked out of like his third nursing home. So, gramps had no place to go while they searched for a new place. So, I lost my room briefly, and I decided I would stay at my gf's place for a couple weeks as opposed to sleeping on the couch. Then, a couple weeks went by, grandpa was moved to a new home, but somehow, moving out became a lot harder. She really pressured me to stay, and I ended up getting used to it, got complacent, then a year went by like nothing. Finally, I woke up from that bad dream and hightailed it. In the end, the wedding mags were a good thing, because they became a catalyst for me to get on with my life.

humanodon  ·  3943 days ago  ·  link  ·  

That is a good thing. Sometimes I think back on past relationships and I wonder if I got more out of them than the girls I was in them with, in that when they've finished I usually have learned something about myself and how I think about the world.

Ladies, come to me! I wish to learn more about myself by studying our seemingly inevitable mutual misery and heartache!

istara  ·  3941 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Also: that's someone who wants to get married.

Not someone who wants to get married to you.

There's a significant difference.

humanodon  ·  3943 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yes, exactly. And when I brought it up, she first tried to deny it.

_refugee_  ·  3943 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Ick.