a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment by jayfixkleenit
jayfixkleenit  ·  3953 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Chapter one of my novel

Hey ooli, thanks for the feedback. Not quite sure I agree a hundred percent, though. I mean, I do get where you're coming from, but is it that much of a put-off? I'm trying to stay true to the way a certain demographic speaks, the way they behave, the way they live. Yes, I know that's the excuse most of the guys in the demographic you describe give, but isn't there some truth in it? Once again, thanks for your feedback and I'd love to hear what you have to say about this.





rezzeJ  ·  3953 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I don't think that you need to be as cutthroat as ooli suggests. If it reflects your character and it's something you reckon your demographic will identify with then go ahead. However, use carefully and sparingly as over-saturation of any words or techniques can often cause writing to sound cheap. Swear words represent a reasonably thin band of emotions so keep that in mind too.

For example:

    Fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking Friday morning traffic jams.

Okay, we get that he's angered by the traffic. But I don't think I've ever heard someone actually speak like that. One would've sufficed. A swearword is very much a short cut to showing an emotion. This can sometimes have a great impact or it can make your writing seem lazy. Judge accordingly.