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comment by humanodon
humanodon  ·  4074 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: A friend died nearly 2 years ago. I had no idea.  ·  

It's interesting (and sometimes heartbreaking) to see how social media and death come together. A guy I went to highschool with died last year and his facebook page evolved into a kind of shrine where his friends and his family would post things about how they missed him and said (kind) things they might not have to his face.

There were also people who didn't know him well who expressed their sorrow, but it seemed to me that while some of it was genuine, it was also a way for them to show that they were sensitive to and aware of the tenuous grasp we have on life. As far as I know, the page is still active. I wonder if it will stay that way, or if eventually it will be shut down. It's very strange to wander through the records of other people's mourning and I don't know if it's entirely healthy; it seems almost like all that previously etheric grief coalesced into something more solid than it would have if it had been allowed to dissipate as it would outside of social media.





Kaius  ·  4074 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I attended a funeral recently that was a very sad affair as the person was quite young, the grief was overwhelming. The family members were going through something terrible, a feeling of loss that was as real and physical as the floor of the funeral home at which we all stared.

Amidst the sorrow and tears there was a plan, the priest, the mourners even the hearse driver were part of a process. The religious icons, the prayers or words spoken, the coffin, flowers, the grave; were merely props, the process was what offered consolation. There were stages in the plan, and transitions, the actors played their part. It was tried and true. If you follow it, it will help you overcome.

We haven't developed the same process for dealing with grief or loss on the social web yet but we will, because we need one. Without a process we will just stare at the floor.