by _refugee_

I guess since this is the place for thoughtful discussion it would be unfair to ask this without sharing a small story.

I'm getting to know someone who recently accused me of having all my defenses up. The person is right, my defenses are completely up. I like this person, but I'm afraid of getting hurt, I guess. I've met a lot of people who seemed nice at first, and then ultimately it turned out they were douchebags and assholes. There were small signs at first, but it took a while before the full-fledged shittiness came to light. (I think that's how it works with most people/relationships.) I'm really tired of caring about people only to get negative returns on my investment. So, at what point do you decide to trust someone?

What indicators do you use to help you determine that?

How do you know when someone is genuinely a good person?

Edit: Also I love Hubski and I love that I have you guys here to ask for advice from time-to-time, or at least, advice that masquerades as thought-provoking questions. Thank you all for your input. I'd love to keep hearing it if you have it.