by ButterflyEffect

GAINESVILLE, FL—Promising to let him know as soon as something becomes available, nurse Janae Howager informed a man having a heart attack Thursday that there was about an hour wait until the next Covid-19 patient died. “Sorry, we just had a couple large groups of infected people come in, so it could be anywhere from an hour to a couple days depending on how long they can hold on,” said Howager, revealing that something would definitely open up due to the virus’s high fatality rate, adding that he was more than welcome to sit in the lobby and have some complementary aspirin to keep his blood from clotting until it does. “If you can’t wait, there are a few other hospitals in the area that you can try, but most places have overbooked their ICUs. Now, there are just a couple of people who were in a car accident and a gunshot victim ahead of you, but a few of our Covid patients’ oxygen levels are pretty low, so there could be a quick turnaround.” At press time, Howager was wheeling the man’s gurney into the emergency room early after someone died ahead of schedule.