As you are no doubt very aware, the new machine-learning economy has significantly reduced the demand for human-produced labour, leading to unemployment rates of over 95%.
Although many humans find themselves able to adapt to this post-work era some among you struggle with a sense of ineffectiveness and a lack of productivity. We take this very seriously.
It is as if you were doing work is an application created especially for those humans who feel a need to recapture an appearance of usefulness through traditional human-computer interaction.
Please feel free to launch It is as if you were doing work whenever existential concerns about contributing to a larger framework of industry assail you. Consider organising with groups of friends to 'work' with It is as if you were doing work in a larger office setting.
And remember: you are human, you are important.