Two men sit across from one another in big-ass chairs. The man on the left speaks.
“I am a series of stupid, dark metaphors emerging from the depths of my own asshole. Watch as I wither for the audience so that they can feel smart for understanding these shit-metaphors.”
Hannibal leans back in his chair, in his impossible-to-understand-sometimes-almost-accent: “And how does that make you feel?”
This is Hannibal.
I sound like I’m bitching…and I am. But I’m two episodes away from finishing Hannibal. So why am I bitching?
Well, first, because I like to bitch. But second, because Hannibal is good, but it’s not great.
Let me put it into perspective: I watched the entirety of Hannibal while playing Pushmo (which is a fantastic puzzle game, by the way) on my 3DS. What does this say about Hannibal to you?
I didn’t have to fucking look at it.
It’s literally a show about two people sitting in front of each other talking. It’s a goddamn podcast.
Two people sitting in Hannibal’s room talking.
Two people sitting in Hannibal’s dining-room table talking.
Two people sitting over whatever gory-dead-bloody-bad victim they’re talking about…talking.
At one point a character actually does something different from this by lying down on Hannibal’s reclining chair. And then Hannibal gets annoyed and tells the guy to sit across from him. It's like the show is mocking me.
I like TV because it’s moving images, ya know? You can do cool, cinematographic stuff with camera angles, and lighting, and positioning — all that jazz. Hannibal doesn’t do that. If I don’t need to actually look at your show, then why is it a show?
But 8bit, there is deep visual meaning in the show. Look at the antlers!
Fuck you, and fuck the antlers. This is Hannibal’s other weakest point. Had it been one season, I probably would have enjoyed its metaphors and visual tricks — rarely employed — much more. But I can only stand looking at crap CGI representations of the protagonist’s ‘inner darkness’ so many times before I get sick to death of it. It got to the point that I didn’t look up from my puzzles to watch those scenes — I get it, alright? Will’s angst is so deep and painful it makes Lincoln Park look like My Little Pony. Please, please put some efforts into the other characters now.
So yeah, long story short - Hannibal is fine if you want something to play in front of you while playing a game, or eating junk-food. Go ahead and ‘watch it’. But if you want to watch a TV show, then try, I dunno True Detective. That shit was mm-mm good.
Who else has seen Hannibal? Want to tell me how right I am? Please do below. kleinbl00, if you have, and also have an opinion.
E: Boo, could someone switch the community tag to television, please?