I just need to vent for a sec, is that cool with you guys? Great, thanks.
Issue one - my family's shitty old desktop is having hard drive issues, which everyone knows are the worst kind of issues because they sometimes lead to lost files. Earlier this evening when I tried to power it on it didn't start up properly, and when I tried using startup repair it failed. The next step was system recovery, but there was an error with that too so I'm basically fucked. Neither my sister nor I kept substantial backups. So that sucks, and I'm pretty stressed about the file recovery process / extra expense of fixing the computer or getting a new one.
Issue two - remember that girl I was sort of secretly dating before she broke things off so I should probably call her my ex but I can't bring myself to? Yeah, not actually over her. I was mostly OK because we cut off contact, but a couple days ago she texted me just asking how I was doing and we talked for a while (I couldn't resist). Then we talked some more the next day, and by the end of that it was clear that I totally still had feelings for her.
Then today a group of friends including her and me hung out at a pool for a couple hours, which was great and fun, but also weird because I think she was sort of acting like she might want to get back together? I won't go into specific behaviors except for the best standalone example - when we hugged as I was leaving (like everyone does in this friend group) her hand lingered on my arm for a few seconds and I'm pretty sure it meant something maybe.
But also I have a history of convincing myself that girls I'm into have the same feelings for me, so this might all be total bullshit. I'll see her again tomorrow, so I guess I'll let y'all know how that goes.
Oh, and I forgot to mention: even though I still like her, I've resolved not to pursue her / tell her unless she initiates just because of our history, and I also think if she does initiate I'll make it clear that I can't deal with another secret relationship.
TL;DR A few minutes ago I watched Glee out of the blue and during the epic closing number I jumped up and danced wildly while singing along to random pieces of the song. Then I collapsed into a chair. That's pretty much indicative of my emotional state this evening.