Hey guys. I'm actually supposed to be posting a #tripreport about Florida, but I've been exceptionally lazy since my return (read: I have refused to do anything but poetry) and can't motivate myself to do it. However, lil and I were talking and the concept of “relationship/dating rules” came up. I'm very firm on the “one shot” rule. You know, like Eminem in that song.
Of course, with dating, every individual's rules are based off their mileage. As a result I'm sure we'll have all sorts of rules and some users may directly contradict! For example, I have a rule to only date people “in my generation” - they must be in their twenties. I'm pretty sure humanodon would find this rule completely silly. It's all cool.
Everyone's different. Some people aren't looking to get married, like b_b. Wait. Uh. Whoops. Sometimes you ARE looking to get married and you're looking for someone who also wants that. Neither desire or motive is wrong.
That being said I think this will be a more interesting discussion if we get into philosophical requirements over, say, aesthetics.
Lil mentioned some of hers:
1. Don't phone men during the shopping/dating phase.
2. No sex on the first date. (_refugee_ says, I would love to hear other people's comments on this because I don't think it's an inherently bad thing but I feel that often, sex on the first date leads to non-relationships.)
I want to hear all your crazy rules and I want everyone to feel okay sharing them. Some of mine are really dumb. So I'm going to put it all out there and go first.
1. Must be within my decade (20s)
2. Must be physically fit.
3. Must be pro-choice. Not negotiable.
4. No vegans or vegetarians. Doesn't fit my lifestyle.
5. Cannot allows fears to define or rule them.
6. Cannot truly believe in ghosts, mediums, “energy,” magic/k, God, astrological signs, Freud, etc.
7. Lil proposed this for me: must be a motivated self-starter.
More general stuff:
1. TEXTING. I moderate my texting to reflect the texts I receive. If I have to text you to hear from you then you are going to stop hearing from me. Hopeful phone hovering “in case” of texts makes me feel pathetic. I therefore refuse to do it.
2. Be brutally honest about yourself, especially on the first date.
3. If a guy asks you back to his house after an evening, he's going to try to sleep with you. If you're not interested in at least exploring that territory, say no and cut out. I had to drive home at 2 AM on unplowed roads w/6 inches of snow and front wheel drive this year because shit got that uncomfortable despite what a guy said. I chose to potentially spin out over stay in that house. Please learn from me.
4. If you're not really interested, just say no. Only fuck people you really want to fuck.
5. If no one tries to establish monogamy, that's because no one wants monogamy. Assume non-monogamy until monogamy is discussed.
6. THE FIRST ITERATION AND AFTER: The first will always be the best. Don't allow a second. Fool me once, shame on you. Don't give them the chance to fool you again.
7. Don't listen to words. How someone treats you is how they care about you. See #1 and 8.
8. “I've just been really busy” means “I'm not that interested in you.”
9. You're not the exception, you're the rule.
10. You can always find someone else, and probably someone better. You will not be alone for the rest of your life.
11. Accept them for who they are. If you don't like who they are, cut your losses and go. You are running a federal catch-and-release program and the ponds are fully stocked, dear god.
*Yes. Of course there's a longer story to it, this post is fucking long enough.
kleinbl00 lil said I had to post this so that when you posted a killer comment it would be me who got told about all of my wrong rules. to be fair she's married and i'm not so it'd probably be of more use to me.