Hey guys, Been lurking most days now, but figured I'd stop in to say hello. I ended up getting a job a couple of months ago working for a market research/election research company. It's been a lot of fun so far and I'm learning a lot about both fields (even though currently I'm leg-deep in election research). Things are going well though and it feels very comforting to be employed.
It's been quite a week and my mind has been all over the place, so I'm going to post in here just to get it all down. I had to put my dog down on Sunday (he was the family dog, but I was there when we first got him). It was a sudden turn of events that started on Friday. He became very sick very quick, and no matter what the vet did he just got worse. I had to make the decision to put him down. I think that decision, no matter how sure I was, will haunt me for a really long time. I had to pick my father up from the airport to drive straight to the vet to be there with him for his last moments. I miss him tremendously, and I will never forget that moment. I've had another dog pass before, but this time kind of messed me up. I mentioned I was picking up my father from the airport, he had been with his father down in Florida who almost died the week prior. My grandfather had finally gotten a pacemaker installed and things were looking up. My sister went down to Florida to continue being with my grandmother and grandfather while he recovered. I get a text while at work that he is back in the hospital, and my heart sinks. My dad hasn't gotten a break for weeks between his father, his job, and our dog. I wish there was more I could do for him. On the brighter side, my supervisors are very happy with my work and ability. I received a raise in salary, and they are looking to have me work under some of the more senior staff to gain new skills inside and outside of my field. I'm also slowly progressing on my fantasy novel, which I feel like I have a solid handle on for the first time in weeks.
-Get a job -Find a significant other (more of a hope really because to the best of my knowledge you don't plan stuff like that) -Finishing any number of my incomplete writing pieces. -Save money -Go to an actual concert of some type -Improve my wardrobe
Today I start cooking legit meals. Figure I'm gonna start out small with like a vegetable Lo Mein (really like Chinese food, but no good Chinese places around me) then go from there. My goal is to learn to cook a really great steak, and just general knowledge of cooking. I'm really prepping myself for the day I move away, so that I can do stuff for myself without relying on bad food, or stuff like that.
Alright, so give me just a moment to brag about my gym-going. My squat and deadlift are finally over two hundred pounds, and my core lifts are all above 100 lbs. I'm so unbelievably proud because I really had no support at the gym, and the person I was suppose to be going with started flaking mid way into our second month. The consistency has honestly kept my head straight... Thanks for listen. Also, checking in arguewithatree! Keep pushing forward! In other news, my last year of college begins in a week or two. I'm not sure how to feel about it honestly.
So I'm most likely starting to become a nuisance to my two senators. I've sent letters, e-mail's, phone calls, smoke signals, etc. to share my deep concerns with many if not all of Trump's cabinet nominations. While I know my two senators will most likely vote "no" against his nominations, I'm still sending my concerns in case something stupid happens. My town is going to be voting soon to split up the schools further because we are struggling with overcrowding. The set-up right now is 4 (K-5) elementary schools, 1 (6-8) middle school, and 1 (9-12) high school. The new plan is 4 (K-4) elementary schools, 1 (5&6) middle school, 1 (7&8) junior high, and then 1 (9-12) high school. The new additions being the creation of a new school for 7th and 8th, and moving 5th grade to the middle school. It seems like a solid plan and we are voting in a week or so on it. My town is really trying to upgrade itself before the train station is built, and then everything changes. Has anyone been watching Westworld? I think it's a pretty cool show so far.
The only thing I can really say to this is, is before Milo was big he was literally untouchable by normal means of arguing much in the same way Trump did it through his campaign. It was endless deflections, attacks on character, etc. (trolling stuff). The issue was that his speech began to gain traction, and what used to be words slowly began to trickle into action by his following. His speech wasn't defeated because we finally convinced him of common sense, it was just the people controlling his ability to speak took it from him. If you want to talk about quashing his speech, look at him right now. He lost his status, his job, good portions of his base, some of his outlets for speaking. All of those are essentially people taking active roles to stop the dude from speaking whether it be at a conference, in a book, or on a website.
So, I went full authoritarian dictator on my group to get my project done. Suffice it to say none of them like me very much after it, but I don't think that will matter when we get our B or A and move on from each others lives. These are the types of things that exhaust me. In other news, I actually got into a really interesting discussion on the self with a good friend of mine that stemmed from the IRC chat we all had it was pretty cool to get their perspective on the matter. This probably doesn't interest many, but I noticed a bad? trend that has been growing in the gaming community. Fallout 4 is this huge game, and one of my friends beat it in like two days. When I talked to him about it he seemed lukewarm about the game. I have this other friend who works and goes to school who only plays like an hour a day or so. His reaction to the game is incredible makes me want to go out and get it. It's crazy how my generation has become so caught up with the rapid consumption of content, but at the same time it is to our detriment because we miss out on what makes that content worthwhile. This could of course be expanded beyond just games, but I thought it was an interesting observation.
Cooking/Baking So, I'm getting ready to prepare my next dish for the weekend, but I haven't decided yet. I was thinking something in the wrap department, a chicken gyro maybe? Haven't decided, but I'm excited to get some time over the weekend to experiment. I also tried some baking during the week, made these chocolate cookies with peanut butter filling on the inside. They turned out pretty dope. Been shopping around for a good cast iron or steel pan to prep for my attempt at making steak. I haven't really settled on anything just yet. It's mostly a mental game for me. I don't want to ruin a perfectly good piece of meat, but I'm not sure how else to approach the situation having never done it before. Work/Working Out So I ended up getting into contact with the Speaker of my states assembly as well as an assemblywoman. They both offered me recommendations and a reference, but I refused the speakers because of other unrelated things. I figure with a reference from an assemblywoman getting a job might be a bit easier. Let's hope! I'm not sure why I connected working out with work, but here we are. I got back into jogging about a month ago, so I've slowly started returning to the gym. I shoot to go to the gym pretty early in the morning as a preemptive measure for when I get a job. All in all this month is really looking up so far.
So, I've been taking my Gender, Race, and Sexuality course. While its a shortened program for the winter it has led me to a lot of new material, and intrigued me to finish my reading of Foucault. So far the class has come with some level of liberation, and everyone in the class is very open. It's still a pretty basic class, but it has definitely opened my eyes.
Being required to follow both primaries for class I find myself often questioning if I am somehow no longer living in reality, but some terrible nightmare.
Repeal the second amendment, the whole idea of the "right" to bear arms. Why is it a right to own a gun? It should under every circumstance be considered a privilege. The fact that it is considered a right makes it hard to meaningfully regulate it. I'm all for outlawing guns, but honestly any form of gun regulation is a fantasy at this point. I would love for them to restrict guns to literally gun ranges and hunting space. You shouldn't be able to carry open guns around in public for any circumstance from a civilian standpoint. Obviously the process of attaining a gun must be expanded/secured. The basic premise is coming to terms that just because you want to own a gun doesn't mean you are going to get one. I'll try to go into more detail when I'm not on my phone.
I don't really buy it. Donald Trump can't win a general. The big secret about these primaries is that very few people go to these things and they are often not representative of either parties interest in the state. The people that come out to primaries and caucuses are the really politically involved. The reason Donald Trump is doing so well is because it is super easy to get the outliers all to vote at one time, and the general populace tends to be more apathetic to this early election stuff. The general election for a presidential candidate is a whole different beast. I'm pretty confident Clinton or Sanders could beat Trump in a general if not from just the sheer amount of disgust for Trump.
Holy mother of god. Star Wars was so painful to watch. I'm so glad I'm not alone. I have all these friends telling me I'm out of my mind for feeling the way I do. I legit left that movie confused as to why I wasted my time watching it. The one thing that frustrated me more than anything is the Force Awakened spent an entire movie setting the groundwork for the universe only for it to be completely wiped away in TLJ. I was alright with the concept of them wiping the slate clean and moving on from the old stories, but I never wanted it to be executed so poorly. I mean TFA was the first movie of the trilogy, but so was TLJ. Now we get to move on to the last film in this trilogy, except we are still only at the very beginning. I just have no clue what they were thinking with this film. Just quickly to run through my gripes with the characters: Snoke? Who is he? Oh, he is dead. OK. General Hux? a comedic punching bag. Phasma? I'm sorry who is that? The silver stormtrooper? Yea that doesn't ring a bell? Anyway, dead. Kylo? Still mad for whatever reason First Order? Slowly chasing some low tech rebel ships through space, can't catch um though. Dreadnought surface defense destroyed by one tiny ship. Poe? He is a leader, oh he is not. He is hot headed, and must learn to be a leader? Oh OK, kinda generic. Leia? Force sensetive? No full force user? Wait what? Luke? Sad because he made a mistake of assuming Kylo was already lost. Even though his dad had the same issue, and he held out hope then? Finn? Is going through nearly the same plot arch he did in TFA. Rey? She is a good guy. Resistance? Still resisting kinda.
I started on a small comic strip idea that is just me and a cat that can talk. It's a weird premise because I'm allergic to most breeds of cats. I had a dream about it and in some regard it just feels right. I would probably need an artist, but that's too far into the future for me to see right now. I figured at some point I'll pick up enough drawing to do it myself. The big thing I wanted to highlight was a piece I worked on and off on in my last year of college, and have revisited this week. It's a small piece of memoir of the morning we found out my uncle died. It's still pretty rough, but I'm not 100% sure how to post it on here. (Any hints?) That piece actually stemmed another piece I'm currently working on that centers around my deep connection to sound. I figured I would focus on specific sounds in my life that have had profound effects on me as a person. I'm figuring focusing on three key scenes in my life. Right now that roughly translates to the first I heard my father weep, one of the times I heard the woman I love laugh, and the last sound is still in contention. This piece is still in the early stages, and really kind of personal. If you wanted a small piece just PM me, and I can send you a piece of it.
I'm quickly slipping into a maddening inner universe of innumerable universes. I've sort of lost the ability to tell a compelling story. I spend most of my time creating elaborate worlds, and character that are sort of displaced in both time and space. The character often end up jumping from universe to universe changing with the landscape of each world. I've been returning to a daily writing exercise in the hopes of getting myself back on the horse, but things get really out-of-sorts very fast. At this point I can count maybe 4 separate universes floating around in my head, partially scribbled on paper, or tucked away on napkins somewhere. I imagine that somewhere down the line I will sort of naturally mesh all of them together in an attempt to regain control of problem that isn't really that much of a problem.
It was a common nickname for me after my junior year of high school. My history teacher developed this game for an AP government class I took. We ultimately broke into groups, and created countries. Through a mishap of events I was in a group that was led by a monarchy. The dude who was labeled a king had no clue how to rule a country, but I having played the right type of games knew how to lead. After he was overthrown by me (He had made some poor decisions for our group throwing us into poverty) I led a war campaigns that consumed most of the imaginary continent. It was probably one of the most interesting class projects I've ever had the pleasure of going through. The teacher did a really good job crafting the entire game, so that we all gained a really deep understanding of how governments evolved over time. He did his best to relate some of our actions to the actions of real life leaders. Well, long story short it got out about my ruthlessness, and then the title War came from it.
The executive order also expanded to visa-holders I believe. Its against the law, but until the lawsuit goes through that's how things are for now. I feel like people never realized how much power the President has in terms of executive order. Scary times, and all we can do is remain hyper vigilant. The moment we slip up and stop fighting against stupid shit like this, we lose our liberties.
Let's name hurricanes after terrible things like: Hurricane Comcast, Typhoon Volkswagen, Tropical Storm J.P. Morgan.
My dad's brother. My uncle struggled severely with drug addiction, but came out of it. Everyone thought it would have killed him, but it didn't. He would go on to die in a car accident a decade or so later, but completely clean. I always saw a kind man because the addiction came and went before I was born. If I could see him again I would ask him what changed? Was it a moment or a collection of moments? I would just want to understand his experience with addiction, and ultimately his recovery. I was too young to comprehend these ideas, and by the time I came to these thoughts he was gone. He inspires me in a small way to stay strong, and he showed me that there is love in everyone even when they are at their worst. I only hope he found peace in the next life.
My budget has finally evened itself out after getting slammed by the numerous school fees. Found out that a class I took a long time ago didn't count for anything and I've gotta fork over another thousand dollars by winter (Gotta make up three credits the going rate is about 300 a credit) to graduate on time in the spring. This all just means I will have to take more work hours while trying to balance my other job, and my school schedule. I'm not fretting though. I turn twenty one tomorrow, and honestly I've never felt more in control. The world seems like a bright and beautiful place and I'm determined to see it through.
When does owning a few magazines deserve permanent solitary confinement? The focus isn't really on Caitlin Jenner, but that fact that having a few magazines condemns this woman to pretty much death in prison.
It's almost like Google was their first form, and now they are evolving into a stronger Pokemon. To be a little more serious with my response. Does this just mean that now Google can move into any market with a lot more ease?
Headed to San Francisco for a long weekend on Saturday, since my mom's got a conference over there. Should be a fun time.
Pharmceuticals are the new mafia. It is so unbelievable how they corrupt literally everything from the medical profession to the federal government. I see this shit almost everyday at my job (I work for a local Pharmacy). I'm pretty sure there was a medication recently that had a 500% or so increase in price not mentioned in the article. They can charge this much because insurance is gonna pay in the end. It is one of the most unregulated regions of business, and honestly it is among the strongest lobbies currently in the United States. The amount of money they pour into the federal government through PAC's and 501 (c)(4)'s is disgusting.
The idea that people can say with a straight face that the Republican party gives a shit about the average American blows my mind. I mean the funding just speaks exactly to whose interest the Republicans serve.
Found a bunch of old journals the other day. Read through most of them, others I just threw out after a few pages. The ones I threw out were mostly out of frustration with that version of myself, or maybe the environment I was in at the time. There was some beautiful stuff in there (I don't know if that sounds presumptuous), but I'm just surprised I could write like that in some of the earlier journals. I also noticed I mostly wrote about negative things, but I don't think I was necessarily more negative than I am now. My guess is I mostly used these journals to work through the negative things in my life, rather than air them out in my everyday life. Even with the skew towards negative entries I could still outline my ups and downs pretty accurately. Very interesting read.
You would be surprised how much we pay for healthcare, and things like that. You would also be surprised by how little the highest percent pays in actual taxes. Klein pointed it out to me a few days ago in regards to why there were so few Americans caught up in the Panama Papers debacle. There is money, it's just not being used effectively.
From an academic and intellectual standpoint I get it. I understand the danger of censoring people, but the emotional side of myself is very exhausted having to wave off pretty constant attacks and jokes about my culture, race, my access to education. My favorite is speaking on behalf of the entire spanish community in almost every instance that it is brought up. My favorite insult is that "Well, you're not the spanish I'm referring to because you are educated and employed". I honestly am not directing any of this anger towards you because you have a legitimate argument, but there is a part of me that is unbelievably exhausted.
As a person of color I get the anger and the frustration at a Trump presidency, but there comes a point where you have to direct those feelings towards production. The media can go fuck itself too. I feel like at this point they are the ones being racist, sexist, and all the other -ism's. They are peddling this shit as if we are powerless to make change. The only message that the news should be peddling is: "if you don't feel safe, if you feel sad, angry, upset, fuck even disenfranchised go out and fight for your shit. There isn't any time to be sitting around moping, or doing some dumb shit like destroying property. Keep voting, go to a town hall meeting, call your senators, congressman, donate to local organization, volunteer" Instead the general public is being fed heaps of garbage about how the world is over, and we should just give up. Even I was overwhelmed by the election, but after a few days you gotta look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I'm fucking mad" then go do something about changing it. A large part of me is beginning to dislike these protests because I know for a fact this is how people are dealing with their anger, and once this has subsided they will return to the status quo.