We'll get into it further because you and your boyfriend are an informative case study.
Point and fact. Don't be a jerk and people won't mute you.
thenewgreen, two things I agree with Laurelai in that the ignore button solves some but not all problems, You have to be harassed by the person to know that person should be ignored, and If you ignore someone likely to harass people, you won't see other people getting harassed by them and be there to stand up for them. This is why I've chosen to mute but not ignore.
kleinbl00, I muted you because you're a jerk to me and a lot of people. It's not news to anyone around here, but it was news to me a week ago. This isn't about you being a jerk though. It's about someone completely different saying something sexist that might drive women away. It might explain the trend. Seen above. In the graph. Not about you.
Oh those points are not beyond me. When I suggested the community as a whole may be causing the rift, it was being dramatic. It obviously upset a large portion of people. Hence the apology. Though you do have to admit, it got people thinking. It got people wondering. And for all assertions that hubskiers are very nice, I can confirm that. When I came back, I had one PM saying "Hey, I want you to feel welcomed!" and one saying very politely that I wasn't much worth the time.
To clarify, I never said I was angry about the suggestions for my writing, or even that I was angry about the sexism, but just pointed it out using myself as an example. I never raked anyone across the coals in any of my interactions in those threads. I explained my point of view with the suggestions and ignored the sexism assuming it was just one person. But a graph like that suggested to me that I might not be the only one getting that treatment, that it might not have been a fluke after all. I posted my observation and a suggestion of support and action. I'm sure, thenewgreen, you're point is somewhere on the cusp of "We aren't all sexist," and yes, I agree. It was overly dramatic. I'm sorry. I was just trying to say let's watch out for one another, ok?
It is a lot to do with better, and so much to do with new users. A big part of my point is that when you're new to a site you don't know the norm, you don't know the local trolls (COUGHSEEBELOWCOUGH!) and the only way to do that is to lurk. Which is probably why that's exactly what most people do. But I'm not a wallflower. I prefer to go up to people and say "hi." But yeah, when I'm very quickly discriminated against, the community pales quickly even if the local moderator did say "Welcome, nice to have you around." The comment was hurtful to me. I have never seen men and women communicate differently. I don't write that way because I didn't observe that. Could it be possible lil noticed that difference because she is a different generation? Maybe older men and women feel more of a barrier, because in their times issues were still being ironed out? Nowadays, supporting behavior like that is a bit backwards. Let's not undo the work that lil and her generation worked so hard to accomplish.
No it wasn't any of those three places. I was selling over $60, probably more like $150 an hour around rush, but you realize servers aren't the only step in the process, and most places share wages. Also, people don't always tip at all. This was a big problem where I worked. We were number one in the state on server friendliness, helpfulness, etc, but I was still going home with about $3 a night atop state minimum wage. That's after an 8 hour shift.
Well, working out usually makes me want to eat more. When I took up an exercise that beefed me a bit, I started eating everything in sight. The result was both muscles and gaining weight. ...though when I stopped working out it all started turning into flub so...--I MEAN I'M BEAUTIFUL AND BARBIES SUCK.
Point 1: places like B-Dubs isn't worth it not simply because of the system but because of the jacked up prices on mass produced food. It's better to save your cash for the places that are worth it. I think I correctly read this point in your post. Point 2: I am always delicious. With coffee or otherwise. I think I also correctly read that in your pos--what? What kind of harassment...?!
This ain't Europe, darlin'. Over there being a waiter makes you decent cash, the kind of cash you can live off of without the tip. If we here in the good ole USofA followed suit then we COULD do away with tipping. Also related: Life Pro Tip--If you want to have a good idea if someone's a nice person or just good at making you think they're nice, look at how they treat wait staff.
My good sir, the comparison is yours.Slavery has ended, but marriage survives.
Oh geeze, what is love? I don't have a visual... To my dad, love is protection. Financially and physically. To my mom, love is a hot meal, and a clean bed. To me, love is a game with people who make me laugh and whom I can make laugh.
You said scones are delicious. My name is Intimidating Scones. I made a joke that I'm delicious which is borderline sexual harass--OH NVM! I'm not funny!!
Nope. Read again.
Hey, neversparks. I see what you're saying, but I think you're getting the same misunderstanding that the other 'critics' got. I never claimed my first novel was fantastic and should have been a best seller. I stated my frustration over my friends not knowing what's supportive to a writer with the example of my book. The length it took was to show that the people close to me should appreciate the effort enough to look at it, something I wouldn't expect from regular readers. Also, I didn't mention this above, but they were the ones to instill that expectation in me. The authors mentioned and the statements over weaving verses punching and dawn verses ...uh...rap? ...is a statement on style. There's no point in telling an author to switch their style because it doesn't please everyone. It never will, and you can see below, it pleases many. It's not pretentious, it's about the very frustration all artists go through. If you didn't expect to succeed, it's still no easier to see yourself fail. The work wasn't a cry for help. I know what works as much as the next author, I just chose a path less traveled. And it's still beautiful nonetheless. I'm sorry you didn't enjoy the first bit of my book. I never expected to draw in %100 of readers, and it certainly sounds from your stopping point you weren't expecting it to be high fantasy. You might try reading it for fun as opposed to actively looking to form an opinion. You might find the journey-so to speak-is a bit more interesting that way.
Oh my god that sounds fantastic. I love beets but they're rarely on sale in my area. I'm waiting for the farmer's market to start up, but I may be out of luck cuz I think beets are late fall foods... I don't know. But I am so trying this! Thanks b_b! Also,
Cooking vegetables is cheap, healthy and delicious, but can be labor intensive at times.
Yeah I forget how hard knife skills are starting out. It does take a lot longer to cook when you're not comfortable with your tools, but it's worth putting in the effort to get to know a kitchen.
Yeah see that's what I thought. It at first sounded really sad, but then I thought "well not necessarily." And the latter is what you talked about. Yes, I am the kind of person who wears their heart on their sleeve, but I took no offense, because I know what you mean by liking who you are and never wanting to change. I changed to no sleeve-wearing, and immediately sought to change back because it's just not how I like to live. But, don't assume everyone who wears their hearts on their sleeves in over-emotional, over-reacts, and is uber defensive. It does help with reading other people a whole lot too. Also, yo, those super-cool vitamins with sugar and fiber are usually like $1.30 a pill. That's more than the ramen meal I put up. And it literally takes the same time as mac and cheese because they both force you to wait for water to boil.
There's a lot of hatred over marriage due to history and mistreatment of it. I'm not religious but I want a ceremony (in a field not a church, and not necessarily with any priest or such). It's like when I asked my atheist dad why he celebrated Christmas. He told me it was a social holiday about unity, love, and family. Later I learned that historically Christmas was a 'pagan' holiday called Saturnalia that honored the Roman father of life. Because historically marriage meant passing of property and treated women as such, and statistically people don't take it too seriously, doesn't mean you have to treat it as such right now and in your relationship. If it has a bitter taste for you because the system is broken, and you just don't want anything to do with it, that's cool. But it seems more productive to me to try to fix the system. It's like if in the 50s you hated segregation so you chose to stop drinking water until there was only one fountain for everyone, but you forgot to show up for the march.
I'm thinking this topic is dead, but I find this interesting. My initial reaction was that this was a really sad thing to hear, but then remembering my own family, I realize it's according to the person. I guess I was just wondering your take on that? Also, I suck at chess. Maybe it's tasty and I just never knew! =DI was taught/extrapolated at an extremely early age that showing emotion equated to weakness
A lot of people don't like asking for help. And a lot of people like giving help without being asked.
I KNEW IT!!
I would LOVE to see the girls of this school protest it by using words to curse that are close to offensive but aren't the actual offensive words. Things like dalmatian rather than damnation, or duck instead of fuck, or spit for shit.
I--aww * Blush * The confidence is actually a misconception that has tagged along with me my entire life. So, thanks for saying so, lil. It makes me feel really good.
Oh this is my kind of fun. Wish I could join you.
Oh man, sorry to hear about the flu-something. I had it two weeks ago. It was miserable. Wish I could PM you a bowl of soup... Thanks for the response. No rush on it as far as I'm concerned.
HEADDESK Oh my god why do I even try?
Oh christ...I feel bad for your GI track...