popping in to say how grateful I am for all of you.

all of you makers

all of you scientists

all of you artists

all of you doers

all of you listeners

all of you writers

all of you teachers

all of you random internet strangers

all of you hubskiers

I am forever in your collective debt. It's been kind of a weird and wild and rough couple years and you all have helped pull/push/inspire me through. I love you all even if I'm not sharing much lately... but I read often and appreciate you.

I'm making a fairly significant career shift. I'm leaving the safety of four years at a comfortable gig as a mid-level manager in operations/tech to be an individual contributor learning and development guy at a startup. It's a move I've been pondering for a while, and trying to figure out how to break into, and somehow I just convinced this company I'm the right person for the job. I'm equal parts excited and terrified. The swag from the new company showed up in a box yesterday moments before my current CEO passive aggressively (and embarrassingly) pleaded with me to stay at the current company (in a meeting in front of other people) - It was awkward and awful.

I start the new job next week. Lots of change in the pub this week, and I'm happy to be a part of it.

You know... I originally posted a picture of a friend of mine with Downs and jokingly said “my other friend Ben said you can eat a bag of dicks”.

But I had to delete it. This Ben would never say that. Frankly, he’d never say anything mean like that. Ben reminds me of all that is good in the world. He is a man filled with love. He lights up a room. He is happy.

So I deleted the picture of Ben because he would be sad if he knew that I weaponized him because I was frustrated with your disregard for his life. He would hug you and tell you he “loves you too much”.

So you don’t get a picture of Ben with a snippy response from me. Instead you get this response. Which is me being sad for you. Sad that you’re so angry at the world that you would rob the humanity from people who are often times the best of us. I’m embarrassed that I sunk to your level.

In elementary school in the 80s, we were given presentations about how photovoltaic cells were going to change the world. Utopia was just around the corner as soon as they could work out getting just a little more efficiency out of the panels and as soon as costs came down just a little. In the 90s, GM made an electric car that actual mortals could lease (not buy - see Who Killed The Electric Car). If we all recycle, then we could save X amount of aluminum and plastic. If we compost and garden we could reduce landfill waste. If we all do X then we can save Y.

.

.

I guess I'm just tired. and maybe a little bitter.

.

.

I got excited about solar and wind.

I turn off lights when not in use - have for years.

didn't buy a car until I was 21.

I don't eat a lot of meat - partly because I don't love it, but partly because of the amount of water and energy it takes.

I pay extra for recycling - have for years.

I changed out my bulbs for CFLs

I changed out CFLs for LEDs.

I got an electric car in 2013

I bought a house with solar.

I carpool even though it is almost painfully inconvenient.

When I'm not carpooling, I ride my bike 13 miles each way to work.

.

.

I spend, and have spent more mental anguish, and had more environmental guilt on these subjects... and I'm tired... because it feels very much like my actions are dwarfed, swallowed up, and more than negated by ONE steak eating, monster house dwelling, F-350 diving real estate agent who logs 100 miles/day.

I think I'm just tired, disillusioned, and burned out on the subject. just so tired. I'm not going to quit doing these things. I've just got a lot of sub surface anger and frustration boiling about it. I've been doing so many of the things... and talking about it. And evangelizing for it. And it feels like a life wasted on deaf ears, blind hearts, and hard hearts.

Early pub. I like it.

I’ve been carpooling with a bloke who lives nearby. The older I get, the more I realize we’re all very similar when we let our guards down and look for the best in people.

We let someone go at work this week. It’s never easy, but this one was the right time for the right reasons.

I’m still recovering from a vacation. I know that may sound strange, but it’s a thing. Between time zone differences, piled up work, inspiration overload, and general life evaluation - it’s been a rough couple of weeks. I’ll say this though - I am a blessed/fortunate man who has had more opportunity than most, and I don’t want to waste another minute.

I love you all. I don’t drink, but I feel drunk. My guard is down. My heart is full. I’d hug you if you were in front of me. Maybe you need one. I usually do. But if hugs aren’t your thing, a high five, a smile, or just a knowing glance. I’m here. You’re here. We can just be.

So here’s to you Hubski... I raise my metaphorical glass to you. And to you. And to this place. And to mk... wherever he is this week...thanks for opening early.

I have other commitments that get in the way.

I read that and seriously thought it said "I have other communists that get in the way."

lil gave me the nudge... I better come clean.

The short version of a long story is that I got the job offer. I'm in the middle of negotiating the exit from my current employer... and if all goes well, I will have an even better story to tell after Thanksgiving.

I think that badges don't go to "you" per se... they go to the post. So this post has been badged, not you.

There is a secret sauce algorithm that determines when you earn badges to spend (posts, comments, shares, etc). That algorithm might include a factor of having your content badged... That I don't know.

I hope that helps.

I have no intelligent commentary to give. I just applaud you for taking the initiative.

net neutrality = good.

corporations completely owning everything about me and ass raping me repetitively = bad

Welp... I might as well take the whole bottle of pills and lie back down...

Four miles west of downtown Denver. Super convenient to highways and amenities. PM me if Denver makes sense for your travel schedule. Even if it's just for a lunch stop, hit me up and I'll buy the band lunch.

Edit: screw that - you guys should come stay if possible. We could even do a house show. And your keys player has to show my oldest kid a thing or two.

look man... Yep... a vocal chunk of trump supporters reflect the worst of humanity (and so does he). But a larger chunk is just tired of the status quo. They're voting against "the system", they're voting against Senator/Secretary Clinton. They want the closest thing to a republican they can find... They don't hate you. They're not all gun-toting, homophobic, xenophobic, troglodytes...

blergh... now I sound like I'm trying to justify Trump or his terrible supporters... I'm most certainly not. I don't know many people who completely agree with him on everything. I could never vote for the man.

I guess what I'm saying is - we've broken bread, you and I. I think there are more of us (sensible people who agree on a lot of stuff, who want to be kind and civil, and have some minor policy differences) than them (cruel, divisive, inconsiderate bigots). You and I are super different, but can sit down and have a burrito. We can live next door to each other and bemoan the constant increases in CU tuition... I promise... regardless of the outcome of this election - you're valued and wanted around here. Stick around - I like you as a neighbor.

mike built a dome.

dccrux wrote some "metal haikus"

I wrote a song.

you can sing along:

HAIKU METAL NOW

METAL HAIKU ALL OF NOW

THE THIS THE HAPPENS

.

HAIKU METAL NOW

TRANSCENDS INDIVIDUALS

MUST BE FOR THE ALL

.

HAIKU METAL NOW

I THINK WE ARE DESTINED TO

DO THIS FOREVER

.

THE NORWEGIAN DOME

BLACK METAL MATHEMATICS

SO INSPIRING

.

HAIKU METAL NOW

METAL HAIKU ALL OF NOW

THE THIS THE HAPPENS

.

HAIKU METAL NOW

TRANSCENDS INDIVIDUALS

MUST BE FOR THE ALL

.

HAIKU METAL NOW

HAIKU METAL NOW

HAIKU METAL NOW

behold... the power of an insom nudge...

INT. SANDWICH SHOP - OVERLY WHITE ACADEMIC SUBURB - AFTERNOON

A fat middle aged man walks into a busy sandwich shop and approaches handsome young college student eating alone at table

   steve: "yo Samurai! Hubski Meet up YAH!"

   you: "WTF dude - Who are you? Pups Ski? What? I have no idea what you're talking about.  CAN'T A MAN EAT IN PEACE?!"

   steve: "but... you're the only person of color in Boulder county right now. you have to be you"

   you: "eat shit you racist weirdo"

   steve: "but... hubskina... and... insom... and kb... and... tng... and.... stickers?"

   you: "you're weird dude. go home"

fat middle aged man cries into his BLT and quietly slaps a sticker on the window as he leaves

FADE TO BLACK

done.

Thanks again. And hey - I'll still buy you a beer or whatever on Friday.

And mk? He makes me pay with sexual favors whenever I see him. HEYO!

steve's opinion:

Art doesn't pay.

music, literature, sculpture, film, photography, dance, painting...

Art is Art.

business is business.

The tiny fraction of artists who are able to make art they believe in whilst making a living wage are one of three things:

1 - ridiculously fortunate (lightning strikes once in a while)

2 - so talented that they have broad appeal and enough people are willing to pay

3 - making art that they may not entirely believe in - but it pays well and see point #1.

Most successful artists that I am aware of fall into one of those three buckets. There are probably more buckets. And I don't know what I'm talking about. This is just the rambling opinions of the village idiot.

If I ever go to grad school - my dissertation will be titled: God Hates Artists

yah man - no rush at all. Just excited to build the Colorado contingency. (some day we'll get in a van and drive to michigan and kick the shit out of the michigan meet up group straight up sharks and jets style)