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I'm not entirely sure. I have people I look up to and aspire to be like in specific ways - for example, I admire and envy Neil Gaiman's skill in writing and narrative creation. I admire Amanda Palmer's confidence and connection to her fans. I have people closer to me who help me and keep pushing me forward - close friends, mainly, and an ex-teacher and his girlfriend who have become friends. Those two in particular are always ready with advice and opinions I can't get from my peers, lacking in experience as they are.