I left independence out of my list because frankly, I didn't think about it. But I agree with your assertion that it's necessary - SO necessary. I left my last long-term relationship because I felt like I was suffocating. Since then I've sometimes wondered if I am "too independent" for a relationship. I like not answering to anyone, not having to let anyone know what I'm doing or where I'm going if I feel like it. I like having time alone and not having to explain to anyone why I need time alone. I like being able to go out as much as I want to without feeling like someone else is going to give me trouble for it.

If I were to feel like I didn't have those things, especially at the start of a relationship (where I feel you don't know each other well and shouldn't be spending too much time together, really) I think I would leave the relationship. Or end the dating. Right now, the main person I'm kind-of-dating - we've gone out five times in probably the past four months, and we've both bailed on each other when we haven't felt up to hanging out for whatever reason (I was sad one time, he had family stuff come up, stuff like that). I really like that we have that kind of comfort level - I can bail on you and you can bail on me and we can both understand it's not personal and we still like each other - and I hope (to a reasonable extent) it stays that way. Of course I'm not saying I want to be bailed on all the time...but sometimes, you set up plans, and then realize that's not really what you feel like doing that day after all. I like having that flexibility.