I need to frame being "left alone" in a more positive way because being left alone in the way I mean it is so respectful, generous, and romantic. You've probably heard the word "assertiveness" and understand that it involves putting one's ideas forward. When I teach assertiveness, I pair it with assertively listening -- that is valuing the other person's assertions as equal to your own and drawing them out into fullness -- so that the other person's disagreement with you can be fully expressed. When I said at 19 that I wanted a partner who would leave me alone, I meant that I wanted a partner in whose presence I could find myself - When one's partner's personality barrages another, even the empty rooms of the relationship feel crowded. It's hard to glow when one is barraged. But we humans can be needy and sulky. We can be controlling and insecure. We can just be young and foolish. All these lead to a barraging personality. more to say...