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thenewgreen  ·  4142 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Picnic

Fun read. You nail the voice in this one. I sincerely felt like I was in the head of a kid. Seeing the rituals of a cult from his perspective. People literally "drinking the koolaid".

Solid ending and great use of the word picnic to pull us through the story. When you asked the reader to say the word, I stopped and said it to myself. That's good writing.

Some might say that more is needed, but I would disagree. I think the lack of context is a good thing here. It allows us to fill in the blanks and that is part of what makes for good storytelling.

I'm becoming a fan and look forward to more.