I could be wrong, but I wonder if the root of the embarrassment might lie in this: looking on line or in ads for a partner is an admission of wanting to partner up, and could be perceived by others as a failure to have met people through previously conventional means. I think meeting people online is the current conventional means. I lived 40 miles from a bigger city, so in my case I learned to date people from the big city and always meet in the big city or mid-way; and to screen for psychopaths and other personal idiosyncratic stuff. Went on several first dates, quite a few second and more dates... it was an interesting time for sure, all that while college teaching and raising a child.now I'm getting married in a few months
Hey congratulations. I'm not embarrassed to have met my husband from a pre-internet personal ad. It was where the university professors went for dates -- I went out with 1) a toxicologist who lived in another city but had grown up a few blocks from where I lived and had been in my sister's high school graduating class; 2) a math professor who cured me of my PTS panic attacks; and 3) eventually my current spousal unit - a computer science prof.I still went on tons of first dates, and it didn't take the romance or awkwardness out of it at all.
I bet you learned a lot about the process by going on lots of dates. I sure did: