This comes up so much I wrote an essay to link to.

I'll temper it, though; I've done a lot of reading and research since and have come to a few conclusions.

1) Those who did not experience "the internet" as an extension of their lives are far more likely to devalue honesty and self-truthfulness in online interaction

2) Those who devalue honesty and self-truthfulness in online interaction are deficient at expressing themselves as they intend to

3) Those who are deficient at expressing themselves as they intend to often find themselves in conflicts they did not intend

4) If you can't say what you mean it's not my problem if you accidentally offend me, it's yours.

I get in a lot of fights online. From my perspective, they invariably come about because I state something impersonal, someone comes back with a personal attack, and I demolish them (because they're never good enough to withstand the onslaught) at which point I'm the meanie. The essay linked above reflects the decision - the cold, calculated, reasoned decision - that it's more efficient to be a dick than to not be a dick. The disagreement is still there, only by making the opponent take things to the ad hominem place he's really coming from, we can move on quicker without me spending too much time playing footsie with assholes who don't know how to get their point across without being dicks.

If I were to write a sequel, I would title it "it's not your fault you're an asshole. Me? I do it on purpose to save us both time."