You didn't have to say it was extravagant, my inner monologue says it every other minute. Not gonna lie, I'm having a hard time "arriving" because the inner voice is absolutely calling me a class traitor multiple times a day. It didn't help that my mother (coincidentally) disowned me over email roughly 30 seconds after I found out our offer was accepted.

'cuz it's fuckin' extravagant, dawg. I'm going from this to this without any steps in between. I could buy sixty five of my current microwave for the price of the microwave I'm about to buy. You apply that multiplier to a Honda Civic and you find yourself struggling to even know what cars you can buy for $1.5m. I remember when Veyrons were that much and that was bugshit and we should stop now but I don't think Koenigsegg will sell you anything that cheap.

No double oven because we've never had difficulty managing holidays with only one oven

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Okay, let's have a rich people diversion.

I've got this weird room that used to be a "cabana" or "porch that faces the pool". It got walled in back in '81, then they added a living room in '82, then they added a trophy room (!) to the living room and an office to the living room. Meanwhile their existing dining room became kind of another trophy room and this weird-ass former porch became this no-man's land with two doors in and five doors out and an indoor barbecue that never worked and is also falling over and there's an electrical closet they built a sauna in (a wet sauna!) and there's a weird little powder room off another door and through there is the garage.

Which sucks because it's the geographical and spiritual heart of the house and it deserves better. They put in three ceilings to try and make the room make sense but since there's zero right angles and less symmetry it never worked. Meanwhile I've got this falling-over barbecue with a chimney that's about 12 feet too short to draught and about 15 feet short of code and you can see daylight through one of the cracks so it's got to go? But what to put in its place?

I'd just about settled on "a window and enough of the brick to match the brick on the back side plus I'll build a barbecue into it on the outside to stay true to the idea" but two different architects have gone NANAWALL NANAWALL NANAWALL so you go "wtf is a nanawall" and I say

"a nanawall is the price of a sliding glass door, plus a window, plus twenty five thousand dollars, all so that you can't keep the mosquitos out"

And then you start looking at built-in barbecues (the extravagance!) and discover it's tough to buy one without a rotisserie, and the rotisseries all hold like 40lbs because apparently we're roasting suckling pig now?

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And that's where I went "I'll throw the damn turkey on the rotisserie before I'll buy a double oven and I don't even really want a rotisserie but now I'm intrigued."