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moe  ·  702 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: December 21, 2022

    I also think that relationships, at a basic level, ARE a mutual pact of control.

The idea of mutual 'control' and general question of the 'rationality' of expecting monogamy are concepts with which I've still yet to come to terms. It's not an insecurity borne of any past or present situation, but rather just the hypothetical of a partner proposing non-monogamy and whether I could (or perhaps more importantly, need to) rationalize a rejection that's not reliant on mitigable concerns (e.g. using protection). Setting aside the empirical arguments, I don't know how to examine the emotional need for a partner to reciprocate monogamy and whether that's rooted in something outside of possessiveness.