LOL testing. So check it.

Let's say you work in Hollywood and you can get over the fact that your protocols were partially co-written by the assistant that fucks up your burrito order on the reg but whatever. What we're going to be doing is testing testing whole lotta testing. As in, ride a bus? 14 day quarantine with a test. Ride a plane? 14 day quarantine with a test. Coming to the lot for the first time? Take a test. Test positive? Quarantine then take another test.

So you need a clean COVID test before you can go to the lot to answer their questions so you can get on the lot so you can go get a COVID test (this is where I ass out: COVID left me with a cough, which means I cannot truthfully answer that I have no "COVID symptoms" such as... a cough which means they won't let me on the lot at all and if I decide to say "actually this cough isn't a cough" they ban me from the lot FOR LIFE so I've been doing a lot of not working). But that clean COVID test so you can go take a COVID test is on you, and you'd best have the results before you need to report to the lot, which means if you get called up for work, oh, four days before you need to get tested, you're fucked. Because testing in LA was running 14-18 days with an appointment. You could get an appointment up to 48 hours in advance if you were willing to drive to Lake Elsinore, which is only three hours out of town. Unfortunately everyone else who reads Facebook is also in Lake Elsinore so... yeah.

But wait there's more. Let's suppose that you've actually had the necessary three weeks notice before you need to show up for testing. Chances are good they're running on a 4-5 day turnaround and you probably came in Friday so you could work Monday (for those keeping track at home, you have now had to make two stops three weeks out in order to do your job). So now you can't do that job anyway because their lab is running behind which means the whole job pushes and now every time COVID testing doesn't go like clockwork, everything stops

And by the way, if you're actually working with talent on set who aren't wearing a mask because they're actually trying to shoot a damn TV show you are getting nasopharangyal swabs

every

single

day.

And their turnaround is "oh yeah so you had COVID four days ago" too.

And the lots are paying like $200 per test.

And the tests not on the lot? If it's a non-union production? Yeah you're paying $200 per test, too.