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Ugh. I hate this kind of "I'm an imperfect Leftie" type of self-flagellation. The hippies learned you can put flowers in the barrel of a gun, but the bullet they shoot you with is gonna shred that flower - and your sternum - just as if the flower wasn't there at all. And then the news cycle will flip to the next thing. Republicans know this, and have weaponized it. Being soft, and considerate, and empathetic, and a listener also requires you to surrender some of your power, in the hopes the other person will do the same. If the other person is an American Republican, they won't. They'll just kill you and move on.