This article was not easy to read and I can relate to much of what has been written.

Taking into account that these quotes are cherry picked and aim to drive a specific narrative, it doesn't change the existence of the mentioned methods. It changes our perception of their magnitude.

It gives the feeling that everything the interviewee mentioned is a correct depiction of the sample of 100 boys she talked to. Which is probably not true.

Nevertheless, I can relate to some of what has been said. I grew up between two worlds. The highly toxic masculine Arabic/Muslim town and the less toxic but still problematic German narrative of masculinity. And shit has been hard, no matter where I live.

In my Arabic home town I was never the typical macho man. I knew that from early on. But I thought I was sick/wrong/different because everyone around me was behaving in that stereotypical way and I tried to simply fit in. Around halfway through school, I became the social outcast of the school. Including mobbing and beating. It was one of the worst things that happened to me on my teenage life, but it got me away from the people that I wanted to be like, whether I wanted or not. Letting me become whatever other weird being that is more and more influenced by the internet (12 hours a day mmorpgs back then) and less connected to the place I live in.

After school I moved to Germany. It was a new start for me and I loved that I was instantly accepted the way I was back then.

But, with the passing of years, and multiple oterations of shedding layers. On my quest to understand myself. I realized that the inclusive German society, male or female, was not as inclusive as I thought.

It was still expected of the man to be a man, drunk beer, be stubborn, and fix the house. And of the girl to look pretty and act in a certain way. And that expectation came both from males and females. To the point where I felt that every time I was being vulnerable and opening up some cracks in my teenage Armour, I was laughed at. Mainly by my male social circle.

So I drifted away from my male connections. The majority of my current friends are females.

I also moved towards the hippie/burner/psychedelic scene because somehow people there are more welcoming (but only sometimes).

Being vulnerable is very hard for me. Stripping naked is the hardest, and the last time I did that, I was dropped like a hot potato.

So I don't know when I am doing it again. But I know that if I ever find a partner, it will be one I can be naked with.