My name's Mike and I'm evil.

You're probably wondering what I mean by this. Most people that have run into me would never describe me that way. I couldn't possibly be evil. I was good. I was responsible. I was a smart kid. I did the right thing. I was Buddhist, I meditated. I compromised. I was ready to live and let live. My boss loved me. 45 minutes per day at one point. My teachers loved me. Right speech, bodhisattva. I needed to change the world. I needed to make it a better place. I needed to dedicate my whole life to this cause.

But it's not who I am, because like I said, I'm evil. That sounds like something a good person would do. I'm evil. Every time I've tried to suppress it, to lock it down, to avoid it, the evil has risen up. The harder I've tried to fight it, the stronger it has become.

Most people can't see the evil because it lurks in the corners, waiting to attack at a moment's notice. You might feel that you're evil yourself, but who really knows that? I mean, you might talk about it anonymously on the internet but nobody with your real name knows these things.

I've been evil since I was born. In senior kindergarten, they told me I could either have a hammer, or a screwdriver, or a wrench for my Christmas ornament. They were going to put a picture of my face on it. I refused all those options. I demanded a dragon. I was the only one who wasn't one of those three. I was evil.

And even to this day, I struggle with it. I fight with it. I can't accept it. It is, and always has been too much. The future is no longer an abstraction, it's here, yet I still pray for a new future where I won't hit the walls. Where I can be good. Where I can do the right thing. Where I can make everyone proud.

I've tried to stop hanging out with my friends, because they're evil too. I tried to distance myself from them. I tried to only hang out with the good people. But eventually the evil returns and I'm right back where I started.

My name's Mike and I'm an artist.