I’ve spent like 5 years trying to decide on the source of my absolute shit ability to form attachments and honestly some days I’m still not convinced. On one hand I think it’s all been worth it to understand myself better, but on the other it’s more important to acknowledge and accept who you are so you can deal with it going forward. Don’t dwell on not knowing what the cause is, but don’t be surprised if it hits you like a brick wall if you decide to work on this either. I have a friend who’s similar to you, for them it seems like having a very emotionally intuitive mother but distant father has left them feeling their emotions with no idea how to process it. You could be completely different though. Normally by moving forward that stuff becomes clear.

Progressing “clearly” isn’t really a thing in my experience, you’ll just work on yourself for a while and then one day realize something you’re doing would have made you more anxious a year ago. Then you might get knocked down again but that’s okay because you know that you’re capable of overcoming it. That’s normally how I get through rough patches now, telling myself I’ve done this before so I can do it again and just hoping life doesn’t knock me down too much that it stops feeling worth the effort. I think that’s a high self esteem thought.

I like reading books and I can point to a few things my therapist have had me do that helped like jotting down my feelings through out the day to becomes more aware but you’ll likely have to just find what works for you over time with trial and error. Just make sure to remember nothing that doesn’t work was a waste of time, it gets you closer to understanding what will work. This wasn’t the most positive addition but I think managing expectations is important. It’ll take time and if you’re the kind of person who likes clear objectives or progress plans you won’t want to stick with it. Do it anyways.