I don't really know what I'm doing and mental health is hard to talk about but sometimes it's good so hi

I've been back in Freiburg for 4 days and I'm doing really really poorly, I'm incredibly homesick all the time, depressed and anxious, can't get any work done and can't sleep. (And the stress nausea! Oh, the stress nausea!) I cried every day since the day before I left home because I just didn't wanna go and now I just wanna go back. Did some calculations and I'll probably have to stay here for 3 more semesters after this one's done just to finish my BA, which sounds like an unimaginable, unbearable length of time to be so far from home. And between work and school here, if I stay, I'll only be home around 2 weeks a year. Questioning if it's even worth it considering that I have no idea what I would do with my BA (and I'm 19!!)

Today's been better, I guess. Got an extension on a presentation I was stressing about, finally got a fair amount of uni work done, even though I haven't left my apartment since yesterday. Plans with a friend this evening. And I made a doctor's appointment for next week so I can ask for a referral to a therapist and a psychiatrist. But for now it's just really fucking hard, you guys.

Well wishes/prayers/whatever you believe in appreciated.