Thinking to the next few years and want I want to do. There are a few bigger trails/some circumnavigation of mountains/volcanoes and thru-hikes I'd like to start considering, multi-pitch and alpine climbing, and am in this state of transforming who I was a year and a half ago into who I am today. A lot of that involves becoming a part of, and building/integrating myself into, my own little portion of the running and outdoors community.

Because that's what it is out here, a community. It raises a relationship question, though, that's one of the core issues of all my relationships over the past year or so: Would I rather be in a relationship with somebody who's beside me, or with somebody who's with me. How do you know what works beyond trial and error. Sigh. I'd say I would go on a run to think about this, but the smoke is much too bad for that.

Edit: A less self-centered approach would be to determine how to make time to be with someone that doesn't involve what I'm doing. Really, those are the options. Find someone who's doing similar things, or re-arrange my schedule to make the time and figure out what that looks that to a partner.