Is therapy an option? I don't know if it has a stigma in your life, but it was helpful for me. Also, I get the urge to drink and I know that can be a hard fight. Have you thought about a group like AA? I don't know your situation or what you've tried before but try running when you wake up. I mean, if you're drinking when you wake up you're already putting your body through the ringer. If you want to forget just push yourself to run until you throw up (very doable). If you want a distraction, try to focus on your breathing. Don't set a goal to run x miles or for y minutes or anything else - start with the basics and set a goal to get out and run. Just get out of your bed, get out of your house, and run. Don't set a goal to stop drinking, to stop thinking, to stop communications - do whatever, I don't care - just set a goal to get out of your house once a day and run.