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    Trump’s victory, which defied the long-held conventional wisdom about the prospects of black-hearted candidates, has been described as a watershed moment for the nation’s millions of black-hearted Americans whose overwhelming support buoyed his run for the presidency. Encouraged by the possibility of one of their own occupying the highest seat of power in the nation, black-hearted Americans reportedly turned out in record numbers in all 50 states, propelling Trump to a historic victory.

I thought The Onion was satire?