This feeling that you miss - that feeling of intensity, passion, and excitement for one person - you may not have quite that again, although you might. You might have a deeper one that grows out of loss and gratitude.

I've been saying for a long time that sex is easy, but feelings are hard. After several heartbreaks we might learn to protect our heart in various ways. One of those ways is to be more careful.

Love, as you've discovered, is a vast territory, but in the Venn diagram of love, sex, time, and place the overlapping bits seem to grow smaller. When we try to make it wider - with what I call "concurrent monogamy" (as opposed to serial monogamy), you might be left with less genuine connection, rather than more.

Like when you have homes in two cities, do you live anywhere?

To feel a oneness with someone, you need to be present with them, and they with you, presence as a natural not forced or prescribed way of being

You stop and lie down in a divine and circumscribed zone of acceptance, yet opening into worlds of possibility.

The possibility of identities dissolving into oneness

flowing from individuation to oneness to individuation to sameness to difference and back to oneness

in those moment after moments

you feel connected, accepted maybe, somehow understood

without a lot of pre-judgements about who you are or might be

not sex, not only sex, but what I call full-contact conversation.

"Magic happens outside of our comfort zones."

(read this today as I will likely take it down tomorrow.) _refugee_