a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment
AshleyR  ·  3204 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: My Current Soundtrack

    You used to only be able to date people you knew and consequently would have to gauge the social or work related consequences of who you were going to go out with more carefully than an average tinder date.

chuckle That's the reason I don't date coworkers, right there. :D

Basically, I think the risk is too big for that setting. It can get nasty when you go on a date, get to know the person and end things badly. It's worse when you have to see that person every single day. At its worst they treat you as if you didn't exist. At best, you can still be kind-of-friends. Regardless, the whole workplace is going to know about it.

Anyway, I'm glad it worked for you! :)

Moving on:

    You had to weigh the relative merits of the person and how they related to your world with some care

chuckle² I think so too.

    There was always the cold ask out of a person you met while at a book store, the bar or a show but there were way less of these people to hook up with than there are now that the internet has aggregated demand.

There's a couple points I'd wish to put here:

1- I grew up in an open, "aggressive" dating culture. Brazilians tend to move things fast. You meet the person you want, ask them out, kiss on the first date usually (or even before the first date), and so on. There's still the tradition of the man asking the girl out, so girls get a lot of attention. The biggest part of it is unwanted attention.

2- I've never tried online dating before and I don't feel like doing so right now because I'm VERY paranoid about privacy. Just so I don't seem too much like an alien, I had some... caliente talks, for lack of a better word... on IRC and some online games. It was always the other person who initiated it. I'd just show up, say "Hi, how are you?" and that was it! There were some e-penpals too last year.

So, this is where I come from. I don't know anything about dating in the US, except for what I read.

On a side note, I wonder how Coffee Meets Bagel, Bumble, Happn and Once are doing right now. When is Tinder going to be overtaken? What's next?