Sorry about the crazy number of notifications, I kept getting the 502 page, and didn't realize it was actually going through.

This was my first experience with a psychedelic, though I have smoked enough at a time before to get some similar effects at the peak. And I'm always cautious, and use Erowid heavily. Nor was it that large of a dose, around 3.5g, just large for a first time. I did try a thresehold dose earlier, just to be aware of any negative reactions I might have. But they're hard to source here, so it was sort of an all or nothing moment.

Have you ever heard of microdosing? It may be just perfect for you to get that "most mentally strong" version of yourself without the rest of the trip.

For major psychoactive experiences, I always keep a trip journal as it happens. This one ended up pretty crazy, and much much longer than any others, even though I stopped writing regularly after about two hours after effects started.

I think though I can also be held back by my exposure to both psychonautics and the science. I know what sort of things could happen, and I'd love to have a religious-type experience, but I also know it's more my perception that is changing, not reality. While this can help calm me down, it also means what I learn is more about how I react, which makes me skeptical of many things people "learn" while tripping. I don't want to discount their experiences, but at the same time, I cannot fully believe them.