What the fuck is wrong with you people.

Star Wars came out nine months after LOGAN'S FUCKING RUN.

Star Wars was a goddamn tour de force. There's all this hemming and hawing about how it's not this or it's not that and this and but not that and JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IT'S 40 YEARS OLD AND MUTHERFUCKING REDEFINED CINEMA FOR THREE GENERATIONS.

For better or worse. Basically, "science fiction" meant "space opera" from 1977 until revenge of the clones or whatever they called that last abortion came out. And between Star Wars and Jaws, the summer blockbuster was invented. Yeah. That's right. Prior to Spielberg and Lucas nobody spend a bajillion dollars on special effects just to fucking do it. Your ass would be watching Taxi Driver or Exorcist on Labor Day. Suck on that.

These things aren't happening on a timeframe that works very well for me - sucks to be me, don't fuck with it - but sweet jesus tapdancing christ you can't evaluate Star Wars as if it were fucking Avatar or the Avengers or some shit. Star Wars had an impact on cinema that hadn't been seen since Citizen Fucking Kane. I can hate on Lucas with the best of 'em but let's be honest: if you gave the guy who wrote American Graffiti and THX-1138 ten million dollars to make a samurai film in 1976, you'd be fuckin' psyched to get Star Wars. That film fuckin' CTRL-ALT-DEL'd Hollywood and perfect, imperfect, dialogue, SFX, whatthefuckever it essentially built modern Hollywood.

Now, imagine a universe where Leia is played by Shirley from Laverne and Shirley

and Han Solo is Kurt Fucking Russell.