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Considering this is the first point: the author sure thinks he's entitled to an awful lot. Here's my favorite one, a sure sign the author didn't enter the work force in the last twenty years: I had a coworker give one day's notice, as in "today is my last day." Why? Because the company's policy was to walk people out the door as soon as they put in notice. He was concerned his health care benefits would end before his next job was ready to pick them up. The author here seems stuck in the 1950s.I am entitled to nothing.
If I hate my new job, I will not fake my own death. I will give a full two weeks' notice like grown-ups usually do.