I think honestly, I'm lazy. I stagnate without much issue in many aspects of life. I'll get good at a specific skill in Rugby, and promptly leave it at that. I get positive feedback for something I do at work, and go about emulating that, but never improving on things - because I don't want to put any more effort into things.

I get to a certain stage in life and I'll be quite comfortable with the scenery; and it takes a fairly big change to knock me out of that. I cruised through my degree, barely attended lectures for the last two years of it, and called it a day with my Bachelors.

And yet? I am hugely competitive. I want to beat you at whatever it is we're doing. I get a little stroppy when I don't win or succeed.

It's quite odd having both trains of thought there "I'm going to wipe the floor with you" sitting right along next to "Sleep. Sleeeeeeep. Bed. ZZZzzzzz. No more work".

Maybe it's a by-product of having parents consistently tell me I was intelligent/talented etc. Not like, they pushed me to be the best, but they were just observant (or biased) parents and they didn't mind telling me these things. Possibly, I grew up being able to coast by and felt that meant I was automatically really good and smart and stuffs - and when I don't do well I immediately feel the anger of a loss, from something I probably didn't care about beforehand, because that was different to my perceived norm of being "too capable to make an effort".

Oooorr! I'm just a sore loser, and take it poorly rather than being ultra-competitive. Damn Hubski, you thought-provoking.