He might have been referring to a conversation he had with me a couple of days ago, and this was exactly the problem (assuming it's my conversation he was indeed referring to). It started about whether intentions excuse someone from something hurtful they did and his argument was that people allow themselves to be hurt by words and ideas, and they need to learn better ways to cope. And my argument was that most people already do this but the discussion is about what to do once they've already been hurt, where saying "it wasn't my intention" doesn't help anyone.I imagine part of why you might have caught some flak for this is because the advice isn't anything unique--telling someone to "get over it" either through help of therapy or on their own doesn't solve the problem. Therapy doesn't just make people feel better, either--rape victims don't become okay with thinking about rape all of the time because they sit down and talk it out with someone who is willing to listen to them on a regular basis.