Oneplus One.

We were looking to move out of AT&T right about the time of the iPhone 6 announcement. Once that happened and I realized that it would never again be possible to get a small phone, I went over to T-mobile's site and looked up their price for a fully-loaded six plus. I don't remember the overall - it was a lot - but they'd sell me one on payments over two years for $59 a month.

Then I got home and checked the mail and got a flier from Nissan. If I gave them a grand, they'd lease me a brand new Versa for two years for $79 a month.

Granted - Nissan wanted a thousand dollars down. And granted: that's $20 a month more. But the fact that "phone payments" and "car payments" were in the same neighborhood broke something within me forever. Combine that with the value of either payment plan after two years (IE, zero) and I was pretty much done with Apple.

Know what's great about a OnePlus? Since it cost like $350 all in, you don't have to nerf the shit out of it. Goodbye, Lifeproof. Goodbye, Otterbox. Hello skinny-ass Nillikin sleeve 'cuz when your phone is that goddamn big every extra bit you add to it is more bullshit.

Best buddy bought the fully-loaded six plus. He keeps it in an otterbox. The assembly is bigger than a Texas Instruments graphing calculator.