Ah, the woes of the dreaded 'relationship escalator'... - out of the question to simply be grateful for each others non-possesive presence in your lives and keep things as is for the time being all the way into the future... I would throw in these two cents (especially since [being a 1st functional position internal intuitive guy] I can relate to the feeling something is off, but not quite having explicit thoughts as to why) I'd say both of you take a 16 way split personality type test, 72 yes/no questions, then check your more accurate 4 layer cognitive functional stack description, and check some additional career/ relationship notes Then google your two personality type codes together and see how others in your shoes are dealing with long term relationships/ marriages. Personality type isn't everything - but it can open your eyes a tiny bit as to what's going on in the background, especially if you're like me, and are more external judging mind, rather than internal judging (I have a tendency to not know what exactly is happening in my mind, so reading about myself always comes with discovery and a sense of waking up..)