It took a while for me to work out. But fear kept popping up in my head and I kept shoving it down. So when I sat down and confronted why I kept thinking fear i made some realizations. I think I let so many opportunities slip by when I was younger that at this point in my life I'm afraid to let any more go so I make a point to try and do everything I can. I was afraid of being old and alone so I struck out and found my partner, who I love dearly. I'm not an angry or jealous person so those aren't really motivations for me. I'm not even really that ambitious I just have a high opinion of my personal abilities and don't want to get trapped in a job I hate so I work hard to advance, again elements of fear. I know there is a deeper more complex reason than just fear so I have plenty to think about for a few days.