> Like therapy,

Yes. No help.

> drugs (the good kind!),

Yes. On my todo list. Currently between doctors.

> meditation, etc.

Yes. No luck.

> I don't know how old you are but I'm going to guess you're probably still young.

Still young is relative. Is 27 around the age range you were thinking?

> What I'm wondering is, is this something you want to do for the rest of your life?

I appreciate that you're trying to help me, but this feels a little bit condescending from my perspective. You knew nothing about my situation beyond what I posted in this thread, but the wording of your post implies (to me) that you think that whatever I'm doing, I've been doing it wrong.

My options for medication are basically antidepressants and anxiolytics. The most popular anxiolytics aren't any better than alcohol in terms of effects and consequences, and in my mind are somewhat worse. Antidepressants have low success rates (especially in my situation), unpleasant side effects, and take months to start working. There's no free ride out of my situation.

Thank you for your concern though.