ok, here goes: Trust or lack of trust underlies all relationships. We quickly, often subconsciously, learn who to trust and how much to trust and in which circumstances to trust. Sometimes we should trust a situation to play out according to expectations, but we don't for various reasons. The primary reason is past experience of disappointment.

In my recent case, I trusted another person enough to leave a situation in his hands, but I didn't trust enough to let go of control. Trust-Control, Trust-Control... If you control too much when others thought they were trusted, it damages relationships. If you trust too early or too much when others need more supervision, it might affect the desired collective goal.

I realized recently that I should have trusted my students more and not interfered helpfully, but I was so full of my own need to interfere, that I didn't examine why I was sticking my neck out. My co-teacher in the situation was saying, "Oh just let them do what they want."

So that was on my mind when I ran into the Zen guy. Indeed, trust is the ability to relax and not feel like you have to control outcomes. thx all who replied eightbitsamurai ButterflyEffect and mk.

Also mk, a question as a birthday present is brilliant. In fact, didn't I write about that briefly here.