Hey Waterford, I badged kb's reply because it was an amalgam of points that he made to me several years ago, and seeing them being made again, not in the exact same way but still as articulately, brought me back.

But I don't want it to seem like a snub against you, like there's this hubski squad that's ganging up on you and we pat each other on the back and give each other these "badges" and high-fives and are super smug about all of it. I realized that unless I added a reply, my badge lacked context and could be very naturally assumed to be a kind of congratulation at your expense. It's not. What it is is that I see something in kb's response that I think is very important. It's a bit of a call to action. To do something really, really hard. To look at yourself. To be able to recognize and make sense of what you see and then think on it and even maybe act on it.

I know that a lot of goodness comes from being able to listen to others and find the truth in what they're saying, even if they seem a bit cuntish or rude. It's a skill so hard though that even with the patience of a dozen zen monks people spend their lives never getting good at it. To be able to look at a pattern of reactions in other people and maybe draw a similar thread about yourself, and then use that thread to inform future behavior. What kb did was try very empathically to get you to look at yourself -- you, who is a total stranger to him, a username on a website. Most people won't ever give you the time of day. Fewer people would do it with any modicum of thought for your feelings or wellbeing. And this might sound super mushy, but I'm sending you super good vibes over the internet right now.