My "last serious boyfriend" - broke up over 3 years ago, used to live together, whatever - interloped on my New Years celebration by means of a mutual friend. He proceeded to both get wasted and try to get me wasted. He then told me he "knew my current boyfriend wasn't the one" (implying it was because said boyfriend and I have broken up and gotten back together), that he had been stalking me and could remember exactly when I blocked him on Twitter (which I personally couldn't even remember doing), and started telling me that a year ago there had been a rumor that I had slept with someone. I'm not sure there was actually a rumor but I'm sure he was trying to figure out if I had. He also wanted us to start talking and be friends again. He did not present these topics in this exact order.

It was immediately after he started talking about how he knew my boyfriend wasn't "the one" for me that I walked over to our mutual friend, relayed the deterioration of the conversation, and began to dodge him for the rest of the night. This ex? I haven't so much as talked to him for more than a minute in about two and a half years. Where he gets off thinking that he has any iota of an idea what I want/need in a significant other and what would make a person "the one" or not (putting aside for the sake of discussion all my OTHER objections about such phraseology) I have no fucking idea.

I'm pissed and feel my privacy has been seriously violated. Apparently he also likes to ask our mutual friend how I am doing. Me? Our relationship ended three years ago, bud, and you were a creeper 35yo sleeping with an emotionally screwed, drug-addled 20yo. Frankly he's the ex I think about least and whom I like to pretend I didn't date the most.

Oh, and he also told me that he thinks I've "packed on a few pounds" since we broke up when in reality? Since I stopped living with a directionless, anti-motivated stoner and smoking an eighth every three days (oh and quit eating double cinnabons/day etc) - which I did because frankly I was so bored and stifled in the relationship and lifestyle I had to stone myself blind in order to be okay with it - I've lost 2 pants sizes and 20 pounds. He just happens to remember me as the sickly, food avoidant stim freak I was when the relationship started, not the fatass who left it. (By the way - I am around the same weight/body shape as that 20yo girl was now, anyway.)

To put the cherry on top, after telling my boyfriend about this, said boyfriend then found said ex and friended them on Facebook. In the meantime, I'd blocked the unwelcome fuck. When I asked current boyfriend why he had done this, he began to talk about how he would message my ex and tell him to back off. Sorry, buddy, not your right, your job, or even a good way to handle the situation. If you won't even tell me your last ex-girlfriend's name because I want to check if she actually does or doesn't have a criminal record, I don't know where the living FUCK you get off thinking you can step in and 'handle' my ex for me. Plus, the correct move here is to block and ignore the ex on all media, not stir up more shit, drama and potential rumors by needless, sophomoric posturing. This isn't a pissing contest. My ex is my ex and has already 'lost' a million times over (I mean, depending on your take, ha ha ha). There is nothing to prove.

So now I'm lying in bed stewing, pissed, and unable to sleep. In need of venting so here it is, Hubski. fuck idiots.