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A realist's guide to comic sans

There are signage fonts and there are text fonts. Text fonts are designed to be read a paragraph at a time. Signage fonts are designed to be read a word at a time.

Comic Sans inhabits the nether regions between the two: it was designed for Microsoft Bob, the Clippy OS. In other words, it's a signage font but was deliberately infantilized so that Microsoft's designers could say "it looks like you're trying to type a sentence but suck at computing. Can I hold your hand while you're doing that?" without feeling scolded by HAL9000.

As such, it's a shitty font for readability. There's a passive-aggressiveness to its design that's deliberately designed to blunt what it says. It's also a shitty font for signage. It's designed to be partially ignored. It's even a shitty font for comics - the designer wasn't really trying for anything related to comics, but was more going for the children's-scrawl version of Futura.

If you must do things in a comic font, at least use Lint McCree.