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galen  ·  3797 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: The preventable, inevitable death

This is basically how I feel, but with one caveat - I still fear death, if only a little. The thing that's really behind that fear for me is the thought of an early death, i.e. a death that ends my life before I've gotten the chance to do something meaningful with it. But all I can do for now is tell myself that at least if I die "too soon," I probably won't have any idea that it's happened.

Some of my friends describe my quest for meaning and fear of a useless life as somehow noble, but the way I see it it's more selfish than anything else. I don't want to leave this life before I've really made an impact on the world, and sometimes I'm not even sure if I would mind that impact being distinctly negative. That's one of the reasons I really identified with Augustus in The Fault in Our Stars. (Great book, btw. Check it out if you haven't - YA lit doesn't have to be just for YAs.)