Here's a guess:

I read "Acknowledge the effect on the other person" as "acknowledge the effect to that person" whereas you might mean "acknowledge the effect to better apologize."

From my perspective, "acknowledge the effect on the other person" is Step Zero: apology begins with empathy and without an attempt to put yourself in their shoes, you aren't really going to internalize your crimes. We're imperfect, however, and the process is going to be a lot smoother if you attempt to figure out where you fucked up and then give them the opportunity to fill you in without your preconceived plan of attack getting in the way.

Had you written "acknowledge the effect on the other person (but keep it to yourself until your apology is accepted)" I'd agree 100%. By saying "I'm sorry for ignoring you, it didn't occur to me that you might not want me checking my email while we hang out" you're also saying "I'm sorry for checking my email while we hang out" and very specifically not saying "I'm sorry for not holding your hand while we hang out" which may, in fact, be a far more important apology to make.

Putting yourself in the other person's shoes is perhaps the most important social skill you can learn. Emotional intelligence has a much stronger correlation with success and happiness than intellectual intelligence does. Most people use The Golden Rule as a platitude to explain karma; few people use it forensically.