I wish I could form an opinion on the #notallmen #yesallwomen thing.

On the one hand, #notallmen is a clumsy approach at solidarity. On the other hand, #yesallwomen is a clumsy counterapproach at solidarity. it feels like one side is trying to say "sorry this happened, we aren't all terrible assholes" but the other side counters with "we know you're not all terrible assholes, but every single one of us has suffered from a terrible asshole at some point."

I think it's valuable for women to remind men that sexism and gender violence is alive and well in 2014. I wish there were a way to do it without assigning blame. I also understand that the people who most need to hear it are the ones who think they're blameless... but I'm not sure how you get through that and I'm not sure the #yesallwomen approach is the best... but I can think of no way to improve it.

Using the word "nigger" or "faggot" in a comment results in an instant ban in /r/movies. Using the word retard results in an immediate comment removal. The counterargument is that both words have been reclaimed by their respective cultures... but the counterargument to that is that neither word has lost its hurtfulness and that "reclaiming" is a sad alternative to "retiring."

On the one hand, 8bit could scrawl "you insensitive racist cracker mutherfuckers" underneath the bathroom graffiti. Would it change anything? Maybe. On the other hand, should he bear that shit on his shoulders? fuck no; he's got plenty on his plate. So you're left hoping that somebody in a position to actually alter someone's behavior does so, and left realizing that if you're hoping for someone else to do something about it you're letting it happen.

So in the end I'm just left feeling bad because a misogynist I don't know shot up a bunch of other people I don't know and blamed it on a lack of tail and what the fuck am I supposed to do about it? It's like those rape awareness marches on campus: hey, I'm sorry you all run the risk of rape but I haven't so much as kissed one of you yet so why exactly are you explicitly forbidding me from joining your vigil?

Right, because I'm a guy, and I'm the enemy, and because you know I'd use this as an opportunity to pick up chicks.

Which makes me a sexist, and in the end everyone's pissed off at everyone else because the targets of their rage are unavailable.