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lil  ·  3836 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Not All Women: A Reflection On Being a Musician and Female

Then your edit would be to replace "stand in a cold, silent, unfeeling cosmos" to "stand as part of a cold, silent, unfeeling cosmos." -- except that we are the warm, noisy, sentient part. Hmmm.

What else would you change?