When I got to Calculus 1 in my 1st semester at college, I promptly realized that I'd never been good at math at all. All the honors awards and summer programs were a bunch of bullshit. Then, I ended up in the "Honors" Section for Physics 1 because the regular slots were filled and I needed the credit. I promptly realized that I never truly understood anything about Physics (the entire course was also proof based so we had to derive the formulas ourselves during exams which were all open book. I got a D). This is essentially the story of my collegiate journey; realizing time and time again that I never really learned anything at all, but was treated like I had. A master at filling out the paper the way I'd been told. I believed it fully and never pushed myself in individual efforts to learn and it made getting a Mechanical Engineering degree quite the process.