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insomniasexx  ·  3870 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Hubski, What Are Some Of Your Personal (Dating) Relationship Guidelines/Rules?

In the last few months I've successfully broken every single rule I've ever set for myself. Literally. Every. Single. One. Decades? Pshhhhh...fuck your decades. :P

Thank god I'm in a no-dating phase so it doesn't matter. Apparently, I like to live my life complicatedly.

    I feel that often, sex on the first date leads to non-relationships

It does and doesn't. My last relationship began as just sex and developed into being inseparable and loving each other's company (sex and non-sex wise.) We were both on the same page about what we were through the entirety of the sexing / dating / being in a relationship. The reason it often doesn't work out is because one person just wants sex and one wants love. I think that is a good rule to play by if you are looking for a relationship. I'm also guessing one of the reasons my last relationship didn't work out is because I really wasn't ready to be in a relationship. I wanted to work some of my personal shit out but I didn't have a chance to because we just fell into a relationship.

    8. “I've just been really busy” means “I'm not that interested in you.”

I've been pulling this line so much lately. To be fair, I have been really, really busy. But when there is a guy I am into, I suddenly have time.

When I'm looking to date again I know I'm going to include a few new rules this time around.

1. He can't smoke cigarettes. I've been back on them lately and I hate it. I don't need someone else making me worse.

2. Must be as busy / career-oriented / ambitious as I am. I don't care what he does or how much money he makes but he better dedicate himself to work or a hobby or something. Have passion for something. Watching TV and smoking weed is not a passion.

3. Must not have weird issues with gender roles, especially related to money. I make a very decent amount of money for my age. My family has a buttload of money (which is NOT mine - I am not given any money from my family) but these two things created HELL in my last relationship. If you are still stuck in the mindset that you are going to be the breadwinner and I'm going to be barefoot and pregnant, it isn't going to work out.

4. If it's going to be serious, he must want kids. But he must not want marriage / children until I'm at least 30. I have no problem if he's older, but obviously a lot of older guys are looking to settle down and have kids in the next few years. I'm not. I've got shit to do.

5. Must enjoy traveling and want to see the world.

6. Drug use & getting shitfaced are limited to rare, special occasions.

7. No babysitting necessary. Being responsible - when drunk and otherwise. I don't want to have to make sure one of your friends steals your car keys away once you are shitfaced. I don't want to worry about whether or not you're going to come home puking drunk & angry.

8. No liars. No cheaters. No bullshitters. Be straight with me. Respect me. Respect yourself. Then everything will be fine.

This last one I'm still torn on: their relationship / time spent on the internet. Obviously, I spend all day on the computer. I program shit. I edit shit. I know about security. I read all day. I've dated one guy who was just as into reddit and internet shit as I was. It was nice because we had a lot to talk about and were similar. But it also led to a lot of lazy nights of us laying in bed each on our own laptops. My most recent relationship, he did nothing online. He checked his email and maybe 30 minutes of youtube surfing. That's it. It led to doing a lot more outside, traveling, etc. But he also never understood how I got so much joy and entertainment sitting in front of the computer for a few hours. He also didn't get Hubski. That was a big issue. So I don't know. Maybe a mixture. It was nice for him to force me outdoors once in a while though.